Lessons of 22 Years

So I fell off the face of the Earth for 3 months. I'm sorry about it, really I am. But let's rejoice in the come back. It's like "BACKSTREET'S BACK ALRIGHT?!" only less boy-band and more Lexi.

If you are 22, were 22, or are turning 22 (wow hi that's me), there's grace in those double digits squared. We're old as dirtdom! Kinda. I don't pretend to be an expert after a couple decades of being a young whippersnapper.  I'm unqualified as they come to give advice, unless it's regarding pancakes, bad jokes, or hula hooping.

Instead, I'd like to humbly share a few of my own musings from this traveling circus we call life.

One:  There are three golden rules. 1) You do you. (Everyone else is taken).             2) Some people suck. Losers happen. 3) Let me live. Make it count.

Two: Be bold; be unapologetic. This is the secret sauce. If it's scary but electrifying, you're doing it right.

Three: Your gut instinct knows what's up. Check it often.

Four: Like and love are eternally tricky. Trust the Law of Fuck Yes or No. If you feel strongly about someone, tell them. Emotions defy logic. And vulnerability is enough to make anybody pee their pants. But life is finite. Take the leap (and trust your bladder to hang on for dear life).

Five: Even the "cool kids" -- be that of middle school, college, or the office -- see someone cooler than them. Popularity is whatever. We're all cut from the same fabric, neither a cut above nor a cut below one another.

Six: Be the person known for giving great high fives and stellar hugs. It's good street credz.

Seven: Appreciate the heck out of music. Pick whatever strikes a chord with you. You don't have to like everyone else's tastes but appreciate their appreciation. Turn up that $#!& real loud. Dance like nobody's watching. Especially when everybody's watching.

Eight: Understand privilege. This isn't a guilt-trip; it's a quick guide to how the world works.

Nine: We don't have time; we make time. "Busy" is not an excuse.

Ten:  There are no universal right answers in life. (See golden rule #1: You do you.) But if there was a universal right answer, it would be pizza and red wine.

Eleven: If you're not okay with getting zero likes on a social media post, you shouldn't be posting it.

Twelve: Essential life investments: a comfy couch, chapstick, and a clothing ensemble that says, "Ya look good" (Ya do!)

Thirteen: Have a signature--word, perfume/cologne, cause, joke and smile. People remember the little things.

Fourteen: Never, ever forget what happens when you turn the corners of your mouth upwards.

Fifteen: Tequila is liquid dynamite. Which can be dangerously good or dangerously bad. Choose wisely.

Sixteen: Vegetables are your friend. Cereal is also acceptable for any meal though. Balance.

Seventeen: Acknowledge humanity. Thank the taxi driver; smile at that lonesome person on the subway; recognize the beggar; talk to the guy at the sandwich shop.

Eighteen: Find a passion project. Make it meaningful. And then make it happen (even if there's no payoff for you).

Nineteen: Cool it with the texting "game." F'real. A smiley face does not make marriage the obvious next step. Double texting does not make you needy. Read receipts are not to be used as a tool to smite others. Play nice.

Twenty: Always have a homemade trick up your sleeve. It's important for friendship, surprise birthdays, anniversaries, Mother's Day, and general classiness.

Twenty One: Call yo people that matter. Especially Mom & Dad. Not just on the bad days. They knew you before you knew you.

Twenty Two: Life is messy. At 22...or any age really. This shabang isn't always pretty. We're en route to getting lost...a lot. But somewhere along the way, we'll find the things that matter. Let's get ice cream and call it a win because hey, we've got nothing to lose. Then, when the world least expects it, we'll make our come back.

And when that happens, we'll be singing "BACKSTREET'S BACK ALRIGHT!" all over again. Though the funny thing is, we'll probably still be wholly unqualified to give advice, unless it's regarding pancakes, bad jokes, or hula hooping.

But ya know? That's alright with me.

The Best Part About Being 21

You're totally expecting me to say champagne brunch.

It's tempting, I know. Breakfast and bubbly drinks are my weakness; guilty as charged.

But no siree. This birthday business has nothing to do with gourmet dinners, raging parties, or bomb diggity surprise shindigs. It's not that those things aren't awesome in their own right. In fact, it just so happens that I specialize in planning events that are sixty shades of crazy.

(Tahoe or H's birthday at Cafe Japone, anyone?)

I digress. I've had two truly outstanding birthdays in my life. Equal parts essential and touching. Sorta ridiculous. Mainly batshiz-cray.

On my 14th birthday, my best friends AT and AL planned a surprise birthday party at a local restaurant. I had NO idea. We're talking ground zero cluelessness. And to say I was surprised would be a complete understatement. I was on the doorstep of disbelief.

It was then that I experienced one of the strangest phenomenons of my life: I was so taken aback by the surprise that I started crying uncontrollably (out of happiness). I didn't even know that was possible. In fact, I rarely cry, but on that day, you would've thought the damn Hoover Dam itself had sprung a leak.

For my 21st birthday this year, I told my friends that I didn't want a surprise. Nobody (including me) ever really feels like a big to-do when even bigger exams are around the corner. Finals are a party pooper. It's lame, but it's logic.

The thing about logic though? Birthdays have this bonkers weird "exception" clause, wherein logic doesn't apply. True to form, my friends pulled off an entire birthday week--complete with things far above what I asked and beyond what I expected. There was a surprise dinner here, a ridiculous "employee appreciation" here, and of course, an infamous night at Georgetown's famous bar, here. There were kind wishes from coworkers, spaghetti (squash) + wine with A, hugs from P & Y, the best convo with S, and sweet little thangs from so many people near and far.

Last night, there was a simple and low-key birthday evening at home with my favorite food made by L, H, and P.  (PIZZZZZZZZZZZA. Oh, you thought I was fancy? Think again.)

And finally, there was this video below, which was everything I wanted in the world for my birthday. And much, much more.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sM39SONHWhM]

Featuring: friends & family from Cape Town, Paris, Singapore/New York, the Great Wall of China, Mississippi, Philly (Penn), Indiana, New Haven (Yale)/New York, Atlanta (Emory), and of course, home sweet home in California.

Video clips start at 3:00. And I highly recommend that you at least watch the end, beginning at 8:00 to see my parents' crazy skit.

But really, everything about this video is pure, cheesy gold. It's awkward and hilarious. And to me, it's absolutely perfect.

The best part about being 21 is not the happy hours or the champagne brunches, the plans or the parties, the dessert or the dance floor. It's really dang simple.

To love and be loved is the greatest gift of all. I know that's some straight cheddah, but on your birthday, it's all gouda. So thank you--all of you. For everything.

As for the waterworks?

Yeah, that damn Hoover dam seems to be leaking yet again.

With love & other hugs, L

Small Kitchen College Re-Post: The 5 Best Birthday Breakfasts

<<Note: This is my latest post for Small Kitchen College. For the full post and other fun tidbits, head over to http://college.biggirlssmallkitchen.com/2012/05/the-5-best-birthday-breakfasts.html!>>

The 5 Best Birthday Breakfasts

by Lexi Cotcamp

When it comes to food (and hey, just about everything else), holidays are kind of a big deal.

However, the truth is, not all holidays are created equal. Christmas may be the main squeeze, but I can guarantee you that few people know the date of Columbus Day or the story behind it (#occupyNorthAmerica?).

But there exists one holiday that each individual holds in higher regard than Santa Claus himself.

Birthdays.

Birthdays are the icing on the cake of a year—an ingenious moral holiday of shameless self-promotion celebrating the one and only Y-O-U. From candles and cakes to singing and toasts, birthdays are the crème de la crème for a foodie in particular.

Posh lunch date? Sure thang.

Classy dinner bash with a friend group the size of Jamaica? Obviously.

Dessert? Is that even a question?

Amidst the delicious food coma that is a birthday though, the best meal of the day is often mercilessly thrown to the wayside. Breakfast gets relegated to the birthday backseat—smushed somewhere in between “whatever” and “ehhh.” Eager to begin the day’s festivities, one often forgets about the humble mindblowingness of breakfast.

But worry not. I’m here to tell you that breakfast can still be part of your own little individual anniversary. I’m here to tell you that a glorious breakfast is like the trailer of a great movie—just a peek of what is to come. I’m here to tell you that breakfast is one birthday present to which you shouldn’t forget to write a thank-you note.  So close your eyes; make a wish; and get ready to celebrate your birthday, a friend’s birthday, or any birthday…with breakfast shenanigans. Because you really can have your (pan)cake(s) and eat it too.

**5 Best Birthday Breakfasts**

1. Pancakes. I am wholly convinced that there is no better birthday present in this world than a heaping stack of buttermilk pancakes with warm maple syrup. To jazz up your hotcakes for a birthday, simply get creative with mix-ins. Treat your ‘cakes like a real birthday cake, and find your favorite flavor. Try adding nutella and  strawberries for a Parisian flair or apples and cinnamon for an all-American twist. And if some cake batter happens to get thrown in the mix? Well, I won’t tell. Don’t forget a candle in the middle for a true birthday (pan)cake experience!

But wait, there’s more….!

A Birthday Favorite–Recipe: Super Moist Carrot Cake

Each year for my birthday, Mum would always ask what kind of cake I wanted. While other kids would happily cry “chocolate/vanilla!” my answer was usually a bit different. Being an ardent fruit lover, I always requested a strawberry sponge cake from an Asian bakery or carrot cake.

Then, I learned that other kids did not share my affection for carrot cake. Everyone would sing happy birthday, and I’d blow out the candles, only to find that I was the only one who wanted birthday cake. The first time it happened, I was upset. The next time though, I happily ate my mom’s carrot cake, while the other kids dug into a store-bought chocolate cake with tasteless frosting balloons. More for me  

Over the years, some of friends began to appreciate carrot cake as well. However, it didn’t take me long to realize that not every carrot cake tasted like mother dearest’s special version.

Mum always iced her walnut and pineapple studied cake with an AMAZING amaretto-cream cheese frosting. No restaurant or store-bought version could compare.

Upon learning how to bake, I tried out this recipe and found it just as good as a I remembered. Though it’s a bit more labor intensive than the average cake (if you don’t buy pre-shredded carrots), this gem of a cake is simply to die for—without a doubt, the best of its kind.

Let’s hope my kids think so too.

Super Moist Carrot Cake

Some kids will shy away from this cake, if you tell them that it contains vegetables. Solution: don’t tell them, and watch with glee as they gobble down every carrot-embellished bite. This cake is ridiculously moist and with just the right amount of spice. Slather on some of Mom’s amaretto-cream cheese frosting, and you’ll have kids renouncing the likes of store-bought cakes with frosting balloons.

Adapted from Mom (via Kathy Hunt)

Ingredients:

1 cup sugar (slightly heaping)
2 cups flour
1/4 cup oil

3/4 cup applesauce
4 eggs
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
dash nutmeg
small can crushed pineapple
chopped walnuts
3 ½ cups carrots, shredded

Directions:

1) Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease a 9x13 baking pan.

2) In a large mixing bowl, sift together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Whisk until well-combined and no lumps remain.

3) In a separate bowl, whisk together the oil, applesauce, and eggs. Add in shredded carrots and crushed pineapple.

4) Add the wet ingredient mixture to the flour mixture. Fold in chopped walnuts.

5) Pour into prepared pan, and bake for 55 minutes. Use a toothpick to check for doneness. Let cake cool completely before frosting.

Cream-Cheese Amaretto Frosting (the most delicious frosting EVER)

Ingredients:

1 cup butter

1 8-oz block neufchatel lite cream cheese

1 tablespoon amaretto (or 1 tsp almond extract)

3 cups powdered sugar

Directions:

Using a mixer (or a LOT of elbow grease), beat together butter, cream cheese, and amaretto. Stir in powdered sugar and continue beating until fluffy.

Alternatively, you could also make this into cupcakes for fun-sized deliciousness.

You’d probably have to reduce the baking time to about 18-20 minutes, but I can’t remember exactly.

Worse comes to worse, you might end up with carrot cake cake batter.

Oh man, that would be a happy birthday, indeed.