This Crazy Thing Called Home

I'm trying to think of a way to describe the past month as something other than ABSOLUTELY NUTS. But there's value in calling it like we see it, so let's do just that. It's our party; we do what we want.

It's October 4, 2015. A Sunday; my favorite day to write. I'm sitting in our neighborhood park, splashed with late afternoon sunshine of the Mission District. Solo but far from alone.

I'm surrounded by the crazy people of this city -- this man who coaxes the most beautiful sounds from a guitar, this golden retriever with a goofy lopsided grin, this five year old girl who toddles along with a bow in her hair, this woman who sits beside me just taking it all in.

In these 31 1/2 days of living in San Francisco, we've learned a lot of things. We're realized that super burritos are basically an essential food group. We've discovered that the rent is definitely too damn high. And we've learned that Dolores Park's colorful vendors (i.e. coconut machete man) are Silicon Valley's most aspiring small business owners. For real, yo.

In the past month, we've housewarmed to the best of our abilities. We've filled our humble abode with friends and family and good times a'plenty. With music and midnight conversations, impromptu guitar and Justin Bieber's new song probably a few too many times. Really, all the things that make a house, a home.

Can we cheers to that? Yes, let's.

I should tell you that after these 31 1/2 days I've lived in San Francisco, life finally feels "right." After years in constant motion, I'm relishing this newfound sense of grounding and (semi)permanence. And I've been intentional about cultivating a home here, both with people and place.

(Side note: I've been less intentional about watering my plants. And let me tell you...that does not cultivate a whole lot.)

For the first time in roughly a zillion years, I created a room that truly feels like my own. If you know me, you know I'm a secret (or not-so-secret) design geek. If you know me, you probably aren't surprised that I spent August handcrafting my own furniture.

And you can probably imagine how adamant I was about creating a room that would reflect my personality distilled in a design. Minimalist, green, and verdant. Vaguely reminiscent of the borderline between Earth and ocean. Like the outdoors…but indoors.

If September was a time warp, October feels like we're finding our bearings. Real life is starting to become, well...real.

It's great, but WEIRD, but mostly great to realize this isn't a summer stint or six month gig. It's crazy to realize that this place, this city, these people, this job -- it's your life now. Ridiculous and messy and imperfect but life nonetheless.

I'm trying to describe what it feels like to be in the throes of a real life newbie. But really the only way I can think to describe it is, you know --

absolutely n-u-t-s.

September, if You Please

Can we call, "TIMEOUT" on life for a minute? We need a water break and a quick huddle.  You know, to figure out what's what and what's good.

According to the world...It's September, but summer is still lingering on the brain. We're still dreaming of indian summer picnics and ice cold everything. It's September, and the world says it's now unacceptable to wear white for the next nine months.

We're going to call bull$*#! because that's our prerogative. It's September, and the back-to-school aisle both beckons and inspires a desire to run in the opposite direction. A complicated beast, indeed.

It's September, and this one is a bit different from last. You too? We're the kids raising both hands in the air right now.

This September feels like the crossroads between big kid and adult. Think caterpillar to butterfly, except with less of nature's beauty and more of nature's hot mess.

I've traded number two pencils for pencil skirts and night owl studying for early bird commutes. And I'm oddly okay with it. I've traded assembling farmers' markets for Ikea furniture. And "group project meeting" is a bit of an understatement at this point.

We'll call all this my the attempt to find some semblance of adulthood. Until then, fake it 'till you make it will have to do.

So then, what has post-grad life been like really? It's been rad!!! Seriously. No homework? Yes please. It's been weird. Is this real life, or is this just fantasy? It's been expensive. "The rent is too damn high!"

It's been a lot, of a lot. Which is how I tend to describe most things these days.

Truth be told, I have far more to say than what's been said. The thing is, I haven't figured out how to say it. I'm reconciling what it means to be all grown up, when janky has been the M.O. of times past. When it, frankly, still is.

I think this general weirdness is welcome, if not altogether obligatory.

So here we are now: September, if you please. I can tell you that I'm in a good place & headspace with nothing but great company. That we can live now and figure out the words to explain what's complicated later.

And that if all else fails, we'll call timeout and exercise our prerogative to call bull$*#!.