As It Should Be

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Photo on 12-7-13 at 1.48 PM #6

I'm smiling. Not the kind of smile that you use for when Grandma goes ballistic with the camera on Christmas. Or the kind of smile you use as a disguise around public audience.

Really smiling. 1% of you have seen this smile. The 1% that has truly made the effort to keep in touch this semester. The 1% that can decipher the face I'll make when faced with hilarious awkwardness. You're probably the same 1% that has Chapstick rites of passage.

Why the smile?

Sunlight floods the room. And I sit in its presence, greeting the streams of gold as they gently wash over me. Something feels right. I can't quite put my finger on it, but the smooth click on life's gears feels apparent. This could totally be the effect of too much coffee. Yeah? Saturday, get at me.

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Or it could be the discovery that:

  • I have 14 days more in France. That it will be an amazing 14 days but that going home will be the freakin' tits.
  • My host sister has become like a sister to me and my best friend here. The fact that she is neither a biological sister nor my host family's actual daughter is irrelevant. Friendship extends beyond culture and language.
  • Studying abroad is a janky crash course in showing you which friends remain friends, even when it's not convenient. Ironically, the people that I've talked to most are some of the busiest people I know. It's taught me that saying "Sorry, I was too busy, but I miss you!" or "Sorry! I just really suck at communication" is a bit misleading. "Busy" is a convenient excuse but a rather inconvenient truth. I haven't kept in touch with people this semester who 'have' time but rather people who have 'made' time. It's a small, but important, distinction.
  • By American standards, what I eat on a daily basis is considered horrifyingly unhealthy. Yet I've never felt more at peace with my body.
  • Language immersion is like playing the game CatchPhrase 24/7 -- you spend most of your time describing what you want to say to people, while they try to guess the meaning or word you're trying to convey. Sometimes you win; sometimes you lose.
  • I will eat Chipotle with reckless abandon upon return to the states. RECKLESS ABANDON. To the kind man/lady in charge of said inaugural homecoming burrito: please inform HQ that you will need exactly 1.74296 shit-tons of guacamole for my burrito.  Thanks!

Over and out.

Happy Saturday :)

-lex