So This is Summer & "The Future"

I'm definitely maybe head over heels for August.

Seriously, I'm over here square dancing with the dog days of summer, while the rest of the folks in the US are egging on their air conditioner with chants of "DOWN WITH THE HUMIDITY."

Or so I'm told.

We can agree to disagree on the AC.

But I'm sure we can all agree on the wonders of summer's finale...starring shorts, watermelon slices, barbecues (which we all know is really spelled bbq), beach trips, iced coffee with too much cream, iced tea with too much goodness (...not), lazy evenings, open windows, red sangria, iiiiiiiceeeee creeeeeammmmm, warm nights, bonfires, and sunshine every which way.

Plus, just hanging out! Hanging out, tuning in, and taking five like we do so well.

See, this is why we're friends.

Speaking of which, hey friends! Let's hang.

I'm staring at that funny little in-between square in the face again. But this time it feels welcome, maybe even cordial.

It's been less than one week since I left San Francisco & Google, and it's less than one week until I start my senior year at Georgetown.

Whoa there - it's a LIFE SANDWICH! With a whole lot of good stuff smushed in between two major contenders.

Suddenly, everybody seems to want to know about those two major contenders.

Every conversation is peppered with questions about what happened and what's going to happen. About living in San Francisco, about Google, about senior year, and about "the future" beyond.

Pause: "The future" should be in obligatory air quotes at all times.

You feel me? I'm talking 'bout those quotes where you unceremoniously wiggle your fingers mid-air to demonstrate just how ludicrous something is. Totally that kind!

Long story short: life is good. Google was a different kind of great; home is what the doctor ordered; and my final year at Georgetown, I imagine, will be nothing short of swell.

Summer in the Bay and a second internship at Google surprised me. Sure, there were still all the crazy Security shenanigans, Google Glass demos, five star food, coffee had, etc.

But if you were hanging 'round these parts for this post, you know that this summer was a marked changed from last. It was a gamechanger plus two...but in a completely new way. Ya dig?

I lived in the Mission district on Dolores Park with two amazing roommates, A and N. I hustled erryday with A, trekked to Sonoma wine country with N, dinner'd with L, enjoyed burritos with M.

I ventured to the Golden Gate Bridge, hiked Lands End, brunched with unapologetic enthusiasm, survived Outside Lands with P,  and just started figuring it out. San Francisco is wonky, but then again, so are we.

I settled into a groove with home, work, and people, straddling the permanence of routine and the transience of summer. Does that mean we're 'big kids' now? I'm into it.

Roomie and resident baller, A, aptly coined the phrase "learning to adult"© to represent this bizarre midline between straight up kiddo and grown up. It's an education in its own right. And a sincere reminder that good friends are really the cure-all. Even and especially when your tenacity is down for the count.

Meanwhile, home has been about the simple things. Friends who've been there since the diaper days, and family who can accept that a pound of blueberries is not safe around me.

Read between the lines: I've assumed a nonstop faceplant on the beach and belly flop position in the waves. I'm grappling to remember the last time I wore real-people-clothes (not bathing suits or pajamas). And the couch and I are a little too friendly. Hubba hubba.

That's the TL;DR version. I hope you're doing your thang and doing it well. That you're learning to adult (aren't we all?) and learning it well. That you, like me, are not trading these last few sips of summer for too much of "the future."

Because we got this. And let's not forget: It's all in "air quotes" anyway.

love & other hugs, L

The Things You Should Know About a Summer in San Francisco

Someone asked me yesterday about how often I blog and the last time I had. I turned a little rosy and sheepish, like a kid that just got caught swiping cake batter from the bowl.

(me..totally me)

Truth be told, writing is not something I like to do on a schedule or on-demand. Back in the days of "legit" blogging, I did just that. And let me tell you, it usually sucks more than an overenthusiastic informercial vacuum. Sure, I do write formally all the time. But haven't we determined that janky is far more fitting for me?

'Definitely maybe' is my trademark tune. Barefoot hoppin & beach boppin are my normal. And Casual Friday is really every day on my calendar. Yeah dude! is the answer. It really is.

So let's talk. Just casual--you and me.

First you, then me. Because guests first, always duh.

How are you? This is always my first question to a person. Authentic is timeless. And while Instagram may welcome filters, conversation is a different ballgame. It matters to me that real talk is just that. Because I hope we mean what we say! I truly do.

Me?

This summer has been rad with a capital R. But so incredibly different than I would've guessed. Gimme a sec to explain.

Last summer was crazy to the fullest extent, but it taught me more about myself than I ever could have imagined. It was the perfect collision of bold intention and spontaneous difference that made for an unforgettable shabang and story.

In coming back to the Bay this summer, I'm grateful for the knowledge I have under my belt. Armed with good experience + bad jokes, I'm finding that I have a guiding trajectory and understanding of "how stuff works."

Past experiences allow you to dive deep and fast, without the worry that you won't know how to breathe when you plunge underwater.

But while the past can be a propeller, it can also be an anchor too. If you've never experienced something before, it's new and exciting. But if you experience something twice, it's not immediately new and exciting the second time. It's just "different."

Not "bad-different." Just a sophomore adjustment that requires unlearning some of what you know to allow new experience to breathe in.

It's easy to reminisce about X, to expect Y, to compare Z. But at the end of the day, I'm learning that those actions are positive only if they help, not hinder, moving forward. Real talk  -- that's a tough thing to do.

On San Francisco

San Francisco is a fickle love. Mark Twain wasn't kidding when he said that the coldest winter he ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. And it's no joke that my feelings about this city are quite akin to the weather.

One day, San Francisco has clear blue skies and abundant sunshine, and the next, it's chilly fog with moody winds abound. One day, I find myself loving San Francisco's culture of hills, startups, and laid-back living.

The next, I'm dreaming about the fast-paced frenzy of New York and the challenge of big skyscrapers and even bigger dreams.

This city is built upon polar opposites--clouds on top of sun; tech 20 somethings, homeless, and hipsters;  swanky bars and hole-in-the-wall taquerias.

It's easy to think in versus, but I'm learning to give up comparison in favor of exploration. And in doing so, I'm starting to understand the shrouded in-between of Chapter One-and-a-Half. I've done my fair share of unintentionally getting lost but would be lying if I said it wasn't with the intention of finding my own way here.

Sometimes that means solo city wandering, and other times that means Sunday mornings with pals. However, it always means pancakes thankyouverymuch.

Work at Google is equally interesting. Twice the experience, double the curiosity!

As a two-time intern, I'm forever grateful for the experience I have under my belt. It guides trajectory and provides a baseline for workflow. At the same time, a second summer presents the challenge of reinvention. Faced with the comforts of complacency, it's far too tempting to carry on with precedent.

But aaaaain't nobody got time for that! Let's all hope that's considered a wise proverb someday. Royalty checks are more than welcome.

Slowly but surely, we're finding new adventures, even the second-time around. Today, tomorrow, but certainly not yesterday.

Because good gracious, we know I'm not one to flirt with a safe bet.

So this is summer as a I see it. We're singing new tunes (even if it's in the shower...)  and dancing like nobody's watching (even if it's nowhere near the caliber of Beyonce).

We're drinking bottles of bubbly. Because we're poppin', and that's our prerogative. We're letting go of the idea that we're not old enough or not bold enough. And we're kicking sass and taking names.

And you know the best thing about it?

It's just casual -- you and me.

From Paris to Oktoberfest

Today, we're going to do things a little bit backwards. We're going to talk about Dublin tomorrow. Because we can. Power to the people! On tap today: adventures in Paris and at Oktoberfest. Holy toledo, you might need to stand up for this one.

I met A--among the best of friends from Google--outside of the train station  in Paris late on Thursday evening. Epics hugs were exchanged, and tears of joy may or may not have been present. A quick stop at A's host family's palace apartment and then serious business!

Also known as takeout sushi. Which included getting drenched in a Parisian downpour and not caring one dang bit. There was talk of going out on the town, but you know what? Wine, cheese, chocolate, and 6 hours of life talk are pretty tall, dark and handsome. That's real life.

We also ended up vid-chatting with four other bomb.com friends from Google. These people are what may only be described as "the freaking tits," and I didn't even realize myself how much I've missed talking to them. We're an indescribable bunch all doing crazy different things, but it just works. No explanation necessary because well, tits man who has time for that? Sometime around 3:30 a.m.,  A and I smushed into her twin bed and returned to talk between two. I fell asleep smiling. Happy, so so happy.

Friday, 7 a.m.: Alarms go off in unison. This kid is headed to Munich for Oktoberfest to meet H, my roommate and best friend at Georgetown. A is London-bound to meet friends. We hug it out like its an Olympic sport. Technique is major (and impeccable).

Around noontime, I wind my way through the Munich airport before spotting a bright, blue sweater and tortoise shell glasses that could only belong to H. Hug-a-thon resumes. Olympic gold medals are a veritable DUH at this point.

H and I head straight to city center talking a bajillion miles per minutes while in search of food. We find Thai curry, or rather, curry finds us. And it's game over. Curry......what? It's cool; go with it. Exploring continues. Munich in Oktober has got it going on. It's vibrant. It's special. It's the kind of place where beer trumps all else, and who's going to argue with logic like that?

I should also mention it's bonkers beautiful.

We hopped on an off the spectacularly efficient D-Bahn (German train), going with spontaneity as our tour guide. We found nature! Or, I mean, something like that. Decided that life is a garden. And we dig it.

Statuesque buildings and blue sky peek-a-boos. Buildings here are no wimpy business. Neither are the Germans, apparently.

Churches richly hued with gold and so #casual you had to make sure it wasn't just painted there. And casually accompanied by a mobile library because reading is all sorts of jazzy on a crisp outside afternoon.

Somewhere along the way, we stumbled through a giant square with bean bags and hammocks plopped everywhere. Because nap time is a real life thing. America, get with the program. Please & thank you. 

And finally, we found humanity at its finest. A spectacle of tomfoolery that looks like an adult version of Disneyland. Where OUT OF ORDER is the only order and logical reason is no good reason at all.

Welcome to Oktoberfest. Stay a little while, why don't you?

{to be continued}

~lexi

Living the Dream

You would 100% laugh at me, if you knew how many times I've tried to write this blog post.

And whereas many people might cite feeling at a loss for words, my dilemma is rather opposite. The number of things I want to share is approximately infinity...times 10. But I haven't made a peep since this post. Why?

The long answer: I haven't quite figured out how to say everything in a way that makes sense without you staring at me like I'm talking 'bout aliens. I procrastinate on things I want to do because I'm forever in search of perfect timing.

Clutch answers, all around. Let's break this bizness down.

a)  Summer at Google: {a.k.a.} The best way I could've possibly imagined spending the last 3 months. b) My upcoming 3-month stay in France: {a.k.a.} A dream that found its way into the reality pile.

Life Gone BOLD - Summer 2013: I still can't really believe it. That sounds all sorts of cliché, but for me, it's absolutely true. The past three months have felt like a dream, and even now, I have to pinch myself to make sure I didn't imagine everything.

This past month has been filled to the brim with adventures both at Google and beyond. From Laguna Beach to San Francisco. From San Jose to Mountain View. From Santa Cruz to North Beach. From Lower Haight to Union Square. From Lake Tahoe to Napa to Marin County. From the Bay to Golden Gate Park to the office and back. 

In its entirety, the summer was amazing, but the last 12 weeks ended in a bang that caught me wildly and wonderfully off guard. It clicked. With work and with friends, the pieces fell into place. What place?

A place for which Google Maps has no directions. A place of natural fit, of rhythmic stride, and of truly incandescent happiness. 

My internship ended roughly 1 week ago now. But summing up my entire summer as simply an "internship" leaves much unseen. There was work and plenty of it. Oh my lanta, in the last few weeks, I believe I ate, slept, and breathed my work. But unlike most other 'work,' I've done in life, every ounce of effort and thought-wrangling was of my own choosing. I wanted to be there. I learned about security. I learned that charm goes a long way. I learned that making a friend is far more valuable to me than "networking."

I learned that the phrase "Follow the leader" is a total double entendre. I learned that no plans are too big. I learned that solutions are only possible if you've wrestled in the mud with the problem. I learned that there is beauty in iteration and perfection in uncertainty. I learned that the only thing I know certainly is that I certainly don't know everything. I learned that it really is all about the people. 

That barely scratches the surface, but I'll spare you nitty gritty deets.  For those who have asked, "Well, what happens now?"

Life happens now. And I couldn't say for sure, but it's looking like life is the game plan for tomorrow too.

Tits, man: What really happens now? Okay, okay you got me. Life really is happening now. And that inception is all sorts of batshiz cray. But tomorrow I leave at the ungodly hour of 4 a.m. to spend three months living in Nantes, France. I'll be studying abroad at the university there, taking classes all in French, and living with a host family. Currently, I'm what may only be defined as a "hot mess." Surrounded by a smattering of iced coffee, bathing suits, and boots that are made for walkin'. And pancakes...trust me, you don't wanna know.

We'll chat about France soon. If you're worried that's an empty promise, rest assured there's hope. I have a 28-hour series of planes, trains, and automobiles in front of me. And what will we do now?

Just keep on living the dream.

Golden State of Mind

Andddd we're back!

Where did we leave off? Ahh yes, the reminder that this is a summer of new things and experiences, of growing into myself and making new space for uncharted territory. That means discoveries not only in personal and professional growth but also other areas as well.

Particularly food.

[skip this, if you're not interested in my personal ramblings of becoming un-vegetarian]

This summer and my time at Google has been a completely different experience in a few ways. The beginning of summer 2013 marks the first time I've (intentionally) eaten meat in 4+ years. I became a pescatarian/vegetarian/sometimes vegan somewhere down the road in high school and wasn't unhappy in the least about my choice to do so. But upon deciding to study abroad in France this Fall, I began to think more about the situation. Renowned for its cuisine, France is historically known to consider meat a cultural and culinary staple. With this, I had a brief and fleeting thought: what if I started eating meat again?

In some ways, it would be practical, as it would be less of a hassle for both my host family and me personally in France. It would defray worries that I'd be missing out on a huge part of French life, and it would be an interesting way to try something new.  Based on insights from past students, I decided it would be far easier to eat a balanced diet (i.e. more than bread + cheese). Above all, I remembered that my decision to stop eating meat was just that--my decision. It was a personal choice that was right for me for a variety of different reasons.  And I promised myself that if I ever started wanting/craving meat again, I would eat it.

So gradually and somewhat cautiously, I started reintroducing meat into my diet upon arriving at Google, while keeping in mind my own commitment to health, ethics, and sustainability. To be honest, it's been beyond easy at Google, where I'm able to just take a tiny piece of meat alongside other food at meals. On top of being extremely well-prepared in a culinary sense, the meat is typically locally raised and oftentimes organic. My thoughts? The experiment has been interesting, but I still don't crave meat. I have to remind myself to eat it, and I still have a hard time stomaching really fatty/greasy meets (lamb, corned beef, bacon, prosciutto, pepperoni, etc.). Poultry has been a bit easier, but still--I don't crave it. Nonetheless, the food I've tried has been wonderful.

Like this sunny side egg and spicy carnitas with marinated cabbage as a savory breakfast entree. But honestly, my favorite meals have still looked more like this:

Giant bowls of fruit + granola + etc.

I've only just begun exploring San Francisco, but I'm already smitten with what I have encountered. There's so much to learn and so much to see, and despite having lived in California most of my life, San Francisco is still unmapped. Unlike many of my other trips to big cities on the East Coast, my travels and San Francisco have been all spontaneity.  Now more than ever, I'm learning just how much I can enjoy myself when I let life run its course. This doesn't mean being stupid or completely forsaking plans--it simply means knowing that things will work out the way they should.

I'm still figuring out San Francisco's different neighborhoods, but I've explored a modest amount with the other interns. A few weekends ago, we decided to go to the North Beach Festival (arguably the best festival in SF), which is a part of series of neighborhood street festivals held throughout the summer. The festival contained tons and tons of booths selling everything from chili covered garlic fries to antique hair combs, in addition to live music and overall merriment.

We ended up eating at Giordano Bros. From the street, we noticed a sign that claimed an "all in one" sandwich. Intrigued, we walked in and spontaneously opted to eat lunch there. I was skeptical. REAL skeptical. In my head, I whined, wondering how cheese, meat, a fried egg, french fries, and coleslaw ALL stacked between two slices of bread could possibly be appetizing much less edible.

But to my shock, it blew. my. mind.

Excuse me?  Fo realz.

Later on, we ended up finding our way to Washington Square Park and enjoying the rare glimpses of San Francisco sun. Believe me when I say that I was clinging to that pictured cappuccino for dear life (and warmth) while we were parked in the park. Weather or not (hehe), it was a lovely day--filled with silly conversations and midday naps. The little things.

After finishing our coffee (...and naps) at the park, the group of us Googlers decided to head down to Fisherman's Wharf for dinner. If my body thought the park was cold, it certainly did not appreciate that I chose to wear only a light cotton dress. 60 degrees minus 15 degree wind chill = bad news bears. 

As for this weekend, I'd love to share what I'm doing! Except I have no idea what I'm doing. And that, my friends, is the beauty of letting life take you on its very own wild ride.

Stories a'plenty. Shenanigans in abundance. Smiles all around.

Oh, and Summer, you have an open invitation to stay.

Learning to Grow Again

Warning: this blog post may contain everything from internship happenings to meaning-of-life tangents. Ayyy carumba. How do you feel about a life chat? Ready or not, we're heading in that direction...all aboard!

Week 3 of my internship streaked by in a blur, and looking back at my last post, it seems like so much has happened since then. This feeling speaks to a curious realization about this summer:

For the first time in a long while, I feel like I'm growing again. Wait wait wait, I should clarify. Dad, I'm still the same height as when you last saw me. Unless the measuring tape counts personality, I'm still blissfully stationed at 5'9ish. We won't talk about how many inches the sass adds.

Where were we? Oh right, GROWTH.

Both intellectually and personally, I've begun to see that this summer is serving as a much-needed catalyst of growth. I have learned things--oftentimes through littlest things enshrined in subtleties--that have drawn me one step closer to seeing the world in its full right. Contrary to how I felt about my internship last summer, I don't feel like a robot slugging through spreadsheets ; instead, I feel like a very-much-alive part of an intricate process, and silly as it may be, there is great room for impact. Sure, work can still be work, but I'm also learning that work is much more about how to work too.

Don't get me wrong--this past year at Georgetown was monumental in terms of learning too. But I definitely hit points where I worried that I had allowed even my ever-busy life to be clouded by stagnation in actual learning. While I still dearly miss DC and all that it encompasses, this decision to be right here, right now feels so, well...right. (Eloquence, I know.) And whether or not I realized that from the get-go, the daily surprises of this summer never cease to remind me that life has a funny way of working itself out.

I've been steadily working on my project, which requires a fair amount of meetings with other Googlers. Though some dread meetings, I will admit that I sort of secretly love them. I thrive off of interactions with people, and meeting such brilliant minds and voices only seems to amplify that feeling of excitement. In fact, I'd venture to guess that the different perspectives gained from these meetings stand at the root of my newfound growth.

It's not success in the conventional form of the word, but my discussions with other Googlers (particularly interns) have made me reevaluate even the most firmly entrenched preconceived notions. It's starkly humbling and incredibly empowering all at once.

Outside of work-work, I've spent plenty of time exploring everything from Google's campus to the city of San Francisco itself. Unlike some others at work, I typically spend at least half of every day in a different building. My frequent meetings around campus motivate me to wander through random buildings, stumbling upon random nooks and crannies that remain grey to others' eyes. As an ardent lover of wandering exploration, this freedom is supreme. Coupled with an almond milk latte or mint-infused water, these workplace explorations make me bonkers happy...and productive!

I spend much of my work day doing this, interspersing meetings with mentor lunches or project brainstorms in a café. Since my day requires a commute and includes meals on campus, a generous portion of my weekdays are spent either at 'the office' or relaxing and catching up at home. 

Oh and let's not forget the weekends. The weekends? Well, they're a whole 'nother story. :)

In favor of not making this post a half marathon, we'll save part 2 - San Francisco, food, & fun with friends for the next post. Ya dig?