So This is Summer & "The Future"

IMG_2973-3 I'm definitely maybe head over heels for August.

Seriously, I'm over here square dancing with the dog days of summer, while the rest of the folks in the US are egging on their air conditioner with chants of "DOWN WITH THE HUMIDITY."

Or so I'm told.

Processed with VSCOcam with g3 preset

We can agree to disagree on the AC.

But I'm sure we can all agree on the wonders of summer's finale...starring shorts, watermelon slices, barbecues (which we all know is really spelled bbq), beach trips, iced coffee with too much cream, iced tea with too much goodness (...not), lazy evenings, open windows, red sangria, iiiiiiiceeeee creeeeeammmmm, warm nights, bonfires, and sunshine every which way.

Plus, just hanging out! Hanging out, tuning in, and taking five like we do so well.

See, this is why we're friends.

10552461_10202296010623486_2914050399312545479_n Speaking of which, hey friends! Let's hang.

I'm staring at that funny little in-between square in the face again. But this time it feels welcome, maybe even cordial.

It's been less than one week since I left San Francisco & Google, and it's less than one week until I start my senior year at Georgetown.

Whoa there - it's a LIFE SANDWICH! With a whole lot of good stuff smushed in between two major contenders.

IMG_7336

Suddenly, everybody seems to want to know about those two major contenders.

Every conversation is peppered with questions about what happened and what's going to happen. About living in San Francisco, about Google, about senior year, and about "the future" beyond.

Pause: "The future" should be in obligatory air quotes at all times.

You feel me? I'm talking 'bout those quotes where you unceremoniously wiggle your fingers mid-air to demonstrate just how ludicrous something is. Totally that kind!

Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset

Long story short: life is good. Google was a different kind of great; home is what the doctor ordered; and my final year at Georgetown, I imagine, will be nothing short of swell.

Summer in the Bay and a second internship at Google surprised me. Sure, there were still all the crazy Security shenanigans, Google Glass demos, five star food, coffee had, etc.

anh-lexi

But if you were hanging 'round these parts for this post, you know that this summer was a marked changed from last. It was a gamechanger plus two...but in a completely new way. Ya dig?

IMG_2874

I lived in the Mission district on Dolores Park with two amazing roommates, A and N. I hustled erryday with A, trekked to Sonoma wine country with N, dinner'd with L, enjoyed burritos with M.

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

I ventured to the Golden Gate Bridge, hiked Lands End, brunched with unapologetic enthusiasm, survived Outside Lands with P and just started figuring it out. San Francisco is wonky, but then again, so are we.

IMG_7305

I settled into a groove with home, work, and people, straddling the permanence of routine and the transience of summer. Does that mean we're 'big kids' now? I'm into it.

Roomie and resident baller, A, aptly coined the phrase "learning to adult"© to represent this bizarre midline between straight up kiddo and grown up. It's an education in its own right. And a sincere reminder that good friends are really the cure-all. Even and especially when your tenacity is down for the count.

IMG_9490

Meanwhile, home has been about the simple things. Friends who've been there since the diaper days, and family who can accept that a pound of blueberries is not safe around me.

Read between the lines: I've assumed a nonstop faceplant on the beach and belly flop position in the waves. I'm grappling to remember the last time I wore real-people-clothes (not bathing suits or pajamas). And the couch and I are a little too friendly. Hubba hubba.

Processed with VSCOcam with g3 preset

That's the TL;DR version. I hope you're doing your thang and doing it well. That you're learning to adult (aren't we all?) and learning it well. That you, like me, are not trading these last few sips of summer for too much of "the future."

Because we got this. And let's not forget: It's all in "air quotes" anyway.

love & other hugs, L

Best Kept Simple

IMG_7209 Let's talk bold decisions.

Like the fact that I've successfully learned to bike with no hands...confessions of a multi-tasking nomad. Or the fact that pizza has been the primary food group of exactly 4 out of 6 of my last meals. Or the fact that I bought the kind of dress that means BUSINESS, knowing full well this pizza situation.

Because heck yes, we can. Nobody said we couldn't; I said we could.

(How can you argue with something like that? Answer: Ya can't.)

That's my life update in a nut shell. What's yours?

IMG_7223

Let's put real life on hold for a hot second.

Don't look at me like that. Rules be damned! Especially those involving pizza.

My hair is long and summer-streaked, flushed with the same sunshine that is presently high-five'ing my dimples. These last few days caught me by surprise--smack dab in the middle of July's bizness. We weekend'd...oh yes we did.

We did Saturday right: strolling hand-in-hand with the kind of people that you hope never leave and the kind of scenery that you hope never ends. We celebrated a birthday three times...because once just isn't enough. Trouble. Nothing but trouble.

IMG_2340

And of course, we Sunday'd. The fun-sies! The necessities! All of the above.

We coffee'd and parked ourselves in the park (Dolores) like a lazy day demands.  Chatted and chilled and bought that crazy impulse buy. And we cleaned our bed sheets. Because freeessshhh is funky fresh. (Who knew learning-to-adult smells like spring flowers?)

Fist pump. Hip bump. It's all good.

IMG_7150

You're totally caught off guard by this girl talking.

Here's the thing though: I know ambition fancies the future, not the right-this-hot-second. Granted, I'm a thinker and an occasional over-thinker. A dreamer and a frequent over-dreamer. But today, I have no interest in being either.

I'm feeling that familiar smile hanging around my lips, and for once, I'm just content to say that's enough. To be with the people responsible for that very smile. To laugh at and with the beloved bozos I call friends. To traipse around this wild and weird city.

And to embrace that right now, it's all best kept simple.

LC

The Things You Should Know About a Summer in San Francisco

Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset Someone asked me yesterday about how often I blog and the last time I had. I turned a little rosy and sheepish, like a kid that just got caught swiping cake batter from the bowl.

(me..totally me)

Truth be told, writing is not something I like to do on a schedule or on-demand. Back in the days of "legit" blogging, I did just that. And let me tell you, it usually sucks more than an overenthusiastic informercial vacuum. Sure, I do write formally all the time. But haven't we determined that janky is far more fitting for me?

'Definitely maybe' is my trademark tune. Barefoot hoppin & beach boppin are my normal. And Casual Friday is really every day on my calendar. Yeah dude! is the answer. It really is.

IMG_7018

So let's talk. Just casual--you and me.

First you, then me. Because guests first, always duh.

How are you? This is always my first question to a person. Authentic is timeless. And while Instagram may welcome filters, conversation is a different ballgame. It matters to me that real talk is just that. Because I hope we mean what we say! I truly do.

Me?

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

This summer has been rad with a capital R. But so incredibly different than I would've guessed. Gimme a sec to explain.

Last summer was crazy to the fullest extent, but it taught me more about myself than I ever could have imagined. It was the perfect collision of bold intention and spontaneous difference that made for an unforgettable shabang and story.

In coming back to the Bay this summer, I'm grateful for the knowledge I have under my belt. Armed with good experience + bad jokes, I'm finding that I have a guiding trajectory and understanding of "how stuff works."

Past experiences allow you to dive deep and fast, without the worry that you won't know how to breathe when you plunge underwater.

Photo on 6-3-13 at 2.56 PM #5

But while the past can be a propeller, it can also be an anchor too. If you've never experienced something before, it's new and exciting. But if you experience something twice, it's not immediately new and exciting the second time. It's just "different."

Not "bad-different." Just a sophomore adjustment that requires unlearning some of what you know to allow new experience to breathe in.

It's easy to reminisce about X, to expect Y, to compare Z. But at the end of the day, I'm learning that those actions are positive only if they help, not hinder, moving forward. Real talk  -- that's a tough thing to do.

Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset

On San Francisco

San Francisco is a fickle love. Mark Twain wasn't kidding when he said that the coldest winter he ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. And it's no joke that my feelings about this city are quite akin to the weather.

One day, San Francisco has clear blue skies and abundant sunshine, and the next, it's chilly fog with moody winds abound. One day, I find myself loving San Francisco's culture of hills, startups, and laid-back living.

The next, I'm dreaming about the fast-paced frenzy of New York and the challenge of big skyscrapers and even bigger dreams.

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

This city is built upon polar opposites--clouds on top of sun; tech 20 somethings, homeless, and hipsters;  swanky bars and hole-in-the-wall taquerias.

It's easy to think in versus, but I'm learning to give up comparison in favor of exploration. And in doing so, I'm starting to understand the shrouded in-between of Chapter One-and-a-Half. I've done my fair share of unintentionally getting lost but would be lying if I said it wasn't with the intention of finding my own way here.

Sometimes that means solo city wandering, and other times that means Sunday mornings with pals. However, it always means pancakes thankyouverymuch.

Work at Google is equally interesting. Twice the experience, double the curiosity!

IMG_7037 As a two-time intern, I'm forever grateful for the experience I have under my belt. It guides trajectory and provides a baseline for workflow. At the same time, a second summer presents the challenge of reinvention. Faced with the comforts of complacency, it's far too tempting to carry on with precedent.

But aaaaain't nobody got time for that! Let's all hope that's considered a wise proverb someday. Royalty checks are more than welcome.

Slowly but surely, we're finding new adventures, even the second-time around. Today, tomorrow, but certainly not yesterday.

Because good gracious, we know I'm not one to flirt with a safe bet.

Processed with VSCOcam with g3 preset

So this is summer as a I see it. We're singing new tunes (even if it's in the shower...)  and dancing like nobody's watching (even if it's nowhere near the caliber of Beyonce).

We're drinking bottles of bubbly. Because we're poppin', and that's our prerogative. We're letting go of the idea that we're not old enough or not bold enough. And we're kicking sass and taking names.

And you know the best thing about it?

It's just casual -- you and me.

Chapter One & A Half: Figuring It Out

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetI've been fondly referring to the past two weeks at home as "Chapter One & A Half: My Life as a Hermit."

Back-cover summary: A girl walks into a bar.......turns 21, and then leaves to become a hermit. Catchy, right?

In all truth, I've spent the last two weeks doing, well...just doing "me."

For those wondering, that's somewhere between more than nothing and not much of anything. Having decided pajamas and bathing suits are the only two forms of real clothing, I've declared a state of modest indecency. And I'm completely and utterly okay with it.

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset Life update in a nutshell? I made it through finals (read: the Dark Ages) and tasted just a smidge of D.C. summer before movin' on and movin' out. Midwest, ho! I spent a week in Indiana, marked first by dog days and life talks with A and then a lovely lunch with V and fiancé. The end of the week concluded with a sibling reunion of brotherly love, not to mention a scary glimpse at next year's graduation.

Homeward bound, with love! And so the hermit life began.

Since coming home, there's been a fair shake of straight chillin'. Life here is real and necessary and really necessary. It's far from the buzzing eventfulness you might normally hear from me. Real life happens at a slower, steadier pace - beauty without the "glamour" of busy, shall we say. But keepin' it real is rule #1. Onwards!

IMG_8974-3 I've taken a moment to just hit the stop key on life. I'm letting my hair whip in the wind of Pacific Coast Highway, as I sing loudly and egregiously out-of-tune to whatever is on the radio. Windows down, music up. Yoga has been a rewind and reset switch. Beaching has been the play button. I've spent hours with AL doing major catchup and days on the sand with AT. Somewhere in the mix, I've found my way to Los Angeles with SC to visit friends C, M, and P at UCLA and Pasadena.

Meanwhile... Watchin': Breaking Bad. I'm late to the party. And nobody was surprised ever. Chillin' to the sound of: this summery house beat Dancin' like nobody's watching to:  Equal parts Fitz and Foster Readin': Nada enchilada. Book recommendations, anyone? Please?

Thinkin' bout: Chapter One & A Half

I keep talking about this subject. Some of you are intrigued. Most of you are thinking, "Please don't make me do math."

It's Monday. Math be gone! We're keeping banter light and refreshing. Just like the lemonade/iced tea/sangria you're drinking.

(high five!)

So what is this Chapter One & A Half?

Let's call it the unmarked middle ground. It's found roughly at the intersection of Chapter 1: Yo, I'm a kid (ft. Nintendo 64 & Lunchables, middle school...ugh, stubborn teenagedom, and red solo cup = premium dishware?) and Chapter 2: Dear world, I'm a grown-up (ft. everything else). 

IMG_6873 Since finishing this past semester at Georgetown, I've found myself thinking about uncertainty. This conversation about in-betweens comes in light of life talks with friends, many of whom just graduated from college.  With 20ish years under our belts, we're increasingly asked, "So, what are you going to do with your life?"

It's like a gameshow question! Seemingly impossible to answer. Bound to make your brain sweat a little. And while "I don't know" isn't a wrong answer, it may very well put you in double jeopardy.

Some of us have a good answer, or something that sounds a lot like one. Others of us have become masters at changing the subject.

Weather? Amanda Bynes' meltdowns. Sports!! Happy hour?! Anything will do.

IMG_6876

Uncertainty is at the core of this mid-chapter crisis. Destination without direction (like whoa).

It's the equal but opposite pull in two directions that causes one to feel as if they're straddling the present and future...one foot in and one foot out. Especially at this age, it's easy to feel like our heads are in the clouds, while our feet are tied to the ground. For newly graduated friends, it may be the idea of career or family or financial security or evolving relationships.

For me, it stems from these strange two weeks between Spring and Summer. These jam-packed three months of interning at Google between junior and senior year in D.C.. This exciting fourth year of Georgetown between college and real life.

Simply put, Chapter One & A Half is the uncertainty and discomfort that comes with not knowing what comes next.  For those who have had a relatively certain path until now, this idea of not knowing is terrifying. It goes against everything we know.

Photo on 5-30-14 at 7.01 PM

Perhaps though, that's the point. Chapter One & A Half is not about knowing. It's about figuring it out. What a life this would be if we knew everything already? If we chose to forego the exploring and the adventuring. And the trying and the failing and the everything-in-between that is embodied by figuring it out.

As my dear friend C joked:

"Figuring out is not optional. That's why we do it."

So as I write this Monday, I'm staring uncertainty squarely in the face. It reminds me, and hopefully you too, that we grow as people at the brink of our (dis)comfort zone. Here, we realize how the world looks brighter after we've opened closed eyes. Somehow, not seeing enables us to see better. It doesn't change how clear something is, but it may change how clearly we can see it.

And as for certainty? Well, that's only half of it.